The Random Thoughts of a Housewife

Saturday, December 27, 2008


Last year the resolutions were the same.... manage money better, make time for my poor neglected husband, keep a cleaner house... etc etc. (except the losing weight one we have added this year, last year i was 5 months pregnant ringing in the new year)

Sadly, not much has changed. Every time throughout the year, as my desk is cluttered with paperwork, we spend another friday night knee deep in laundry and children and bills (and not in each others arms) i would look back at the resolutions i have made on that night and sigh, think a sad little thought of what could be, then wipe the breastmilk off that had run down my all-too-chunky stomach while i was lost in throught.

Not this year. this year there are No Resolutions. i have thought about it, i have even silently made myself these little promises already this year. Well now its all off. i no longer have resolutions. that way, when i inevitably break them, i will not be disappointed. I will go through the year and when i dont lose 20 lbs, or keep a cleaner house, or make a biweekly standing date with my dear husband i will not be failing at a resolution. but when i DO get something accomplished off of my ever-long list of self improvement i can do a happy dance and not feel like i was doing it to make a resolution true, but to better myself and my life. Why make promises you cant keep?? I prefer small, silent goals that push me in the direction of a better me. so no full blown resolutions this year. just gonna go with the flow, wherever that may take me.

Ending thought- Where are Max and Rubys parents?? Freakin orphan bunnies.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

taking a break

sneaking on here to take a break from the millions of things i should be doing on this, the day of christmas eve. One year ago today my husband proposed to me :) better late than never i guess, since i was 4 months pregnant :insert eye roll here:. For the whole year last year i spent every major holiday and milestone thinking "is this going to be the day he proposes to me??" so he waited till christmas eve. it was cute though! i love him.

christmas party tonight with the large italian side of my family. its the most stressful part of the holidays. they are all so rich and gorgeous with big fake boobs, and i spend the whole time faking my way through conversations that try to make me seem educated and a hell of a lot older than 21. oh and i didnt mention that i spend the whole night listening to my grandma badmouth my mom AND dad (her own son) in broken english. that= not fun. and my brother isnt goin to these functions anymore so i dont even have the solace of hiding with him in the corner making fun of everyone. whats a girl to do???

well, kids are crying. better get off here and perform some motherly duties. cant wait to play santa tonight which means chowing down all the butterscotch walnut cookies we made this morning. YUM!


Monday, December 22, 2008

Holday Stress

Who has time to bake 80000 cookies, come up with a fabulous italian marinated vegetable salad, put her mother in a nursing home, find a home for a cat, sell a car and all of a homes' belongings, take care of 2 kids and a husband and 2 dogs, and still have more thrown on her plate?


Apparently people dont think i have enough to do!!!

my christmas shopping isnt done. my house is a mess. my poor children are neglected. that bottle of jack daniels i mentioned in my previous blog has been upgraded to a nice 2006 spotlece that didnt last one night in my house.

and yet, it is all worth it. think im crazy??? read this.

Twas the night before Christmas, when all thru the abode only one creature was stirring, & she was cleaning the commode.The children were finally sleeping, all snug in their beds, while visions of Play station 3 & Barbie, flipped through their heads.The dad was snoring in front of the TV, with a half-constructed bicycle propped on his knee. So only the mom heard the reindeer hooves clatter, which made her sigh, "now what is the matter?"With toilet bowl brush still clutched in her hand, she descended the stairs, & saw the old man. He was covered with ashes & soot, which fell with a shrug, "Oh great," muttered the mom, "now I have to clean the rug.""HO HO Ho!" cried Santa, "I'm glad you're awake." "Your gift was especially difficult to make,""Thanks , Santa, but all I want is time alone,""EXACTLY!" he chuckled, "so , I've made you a clone.""She'll cook, she'll dust, she'll mop every mess.You'll relax, take it easy, watch The Young & Restless.""Fantastic!" the mom cheered. "MY dream has come true!" "I'll shop, I'll read, I'll sleep a night through!"From the room above, the youngest did fret."Mommy?! come quickly, I'm scared & I'm wet."The clone replied, "I'm coming, sweetheart.""Hey," the mom smiled, "she sure knows her part."The clone changed the small one & hummed her a tune,as she bundled the child in a blanket cocoon."You're the best mommy ever. I really love you."The clone smiled & sighed, "And I love you too."The mom frowned & said, Sorry, Santa, no deal."That's my child's love she is trying to steal."Smiling wisely Santa said, "To me it is clear, only one loving mother is needed here."The mom kissed her child & tucked her in bed."Thank you Santa, for clearing my head. I sometimes forget, it won't be very long, when they'll be to old for my cradle & song."The clock on the mantle began to chime.Santa whispered to the clone, "it works every time."With the clone by his side Santa said "Goodnight. Merry Christmas, dear mom, you will be all right."

dont credit it to me, i didnt write it. whoever did is pretty damn awesome though!

and ill leave you (shelby, my one and only follower) with this.....

Chuck norris walked through town with a massive erection. There were no survivors.