The Random Thoughts of a Housewife

Monday, December 22, 2008

Holday Stress

Who has time to bake 80000 cookies, come up with a fabulous italian marinated vegetable salad, put her mother in a nursing home, find a home for a cat, sell a car and all of a homes' belongings, take care of 2 kids and a husband and 2 dogs, and still have more thrown on her plate?


Apparently people dont think i have enough to do!!!

my christmas shopping isnt done. my house is a mess. my poor children are neglected. that bottle of jack daniels i mentioned in my previous blog has been upgraded to a nice 2006 spotlece that didnt last one night in my house.

and yet, it is all worth it. think im crazy??? read this.

Twas the night before Christmas, when all thru the abode only one creature was stirring, & she was cleaning the commode.The children were finally sleeping, all snug in their beds, while visions of Play station 3 & Barbie, flipped through their heads.The dad was snoring in front of the TV, with a half-constructed bicycle propped on his knee. So only the mom heard the reindeer hooves clatter, which made her sigh, "now what is the matter?"With toilet bowl brush still clutched in her hand, she descended the stairs, & saw the old man. He was covered with ashes & soot, which fell with a shrug, "Oh great," muttered the mom, "now I have to clean the rug.""HO HO Ho!" cried Santa, "I'm glad you're awake." "Your gift was especially difficult to make,""Thanks , Santa, but all I want is time alone,""EXACTLY!" he chuckled, "so , I've made you a clone.""She'll cook, she'll dust, she'll mop every mess.You'll relax, take it easy, watch The Young & Restless.""Fantastic!" the mom cheered. "MY dream has come true!" "I'll shop, I'll read, I'll sleep a night through!"From the room above, the youngest did fret."Mommy?! come quickly, I'm scared & I'm wet."The clone replied, "I'm coming, sweetheart.""Hey," the mom smiled, "she sure knows her part."The clone changed the small one & hummed her a tune,as she bundled the child in a blanket cocoon."You're the best mommy ever. I really love you."The clone smiled & sighed, "And I love you too."The mom frowned & said, Sorry, Santa, no deal."That's my child's love she is trying to steal."Smiling wisely Santa said, "To me it is clear, only one loving mother is needed here."The mom kissed her child & tucked her in bed."Thank you Santa, for clearing my head. I sometimes forget, it won't be very long, when they'll be to old for my cradle & song."The clock on the mantle began to chime.Santa whispered to the clone, "it works every time."With the clone by his side Santa said "Goodnight. Merry Christmas, dear mom, you will be all right."

dont credit it to me, i didnt write it. whoever did is pretty damn awesome though!

and ill leave you (shelby, my one and only follower) with this.....

Chuck norris walked through town with a massive erection. There were no survivors.


Blogger Shelbatron said...

Great story, almost made me cry. If I were capable of such a thing.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely covered in blood and tears.

December 22, 2008 at 8:58 PM  

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